The other day I saw this post on Instagram where it was highlighting all the hilarious ways our children might let us know they love us. Most of the descriptions were ones that if someone else did them we probably wouldn't think they were that cute or we would be offended. One of the ones that stuck out to me was "Sits on your lap and closely inspects your face while pointing out all your flaws". At first I laughed because I have definitely experienced this side of children. The blunt and brutally honest side. I don't know how many times I had campers tell me that I had circles under my eyes or that I looked tired. I had campers honestly tell me that I just didn't look very good that day as well. It's a fun world to navigate, though considering the fact that I never wore make-up and rarely showered the fact that I didn't get that many negative comments is a positive to be considered!
However, after laughing at this image it got me thinking...maybe there is something deeper to it. Firstly, (and perhaps the foundation of my thoughts on this) I think most kids don't think that they are pointing out flaws they are just pointing out things that they observe and because of our experience in this world we hear them as "flaws". Over time when we hear enough that we should be trying to "erase our wrinkles/fine lines", spots or "blemishes" we learn to believe that there is we should be hiding because it makes us worth less or be less than others...as though everyone else isn't doing the exact same thing.
Secondly, I wonder if perhaps what our children are truly pointing out to us most of the time are the things that make us unique to them. Obviously, we all look different on a level outside of our wrinkles, scars, and spots but it is these flaws that make us even more unique. That combined they tell our stories, and as we tell those stories our children remember them and then that scar that we've been told is a flaw and needs to be hidden is suddenly something our child sees as a unique feature about us. When they look at us and take us in as a whole they see the stories, unique characteristics, and experiences that have made us who they know.
If I didn't have my flaws the story of that time I fell off a swing and got rocks in my chin might not be told. My teenagers might not have the reminder that they are not alone in their struggle with acne, that I get it because the scars of my experience are there. On that same note they may not learn that when I'm anxious or stressed I pick at things...fingernails, scabs, zits. If all my "flaws" were not visible not only would my face not hold my stories, but neither would my hands, my legs or my body. They probably wouldn't learn that I had gotten into a splashing war while teaching canoeing at camp and got a huge gash in my ring finger the same week I got engaged.
This is a short thought for today but it was something that stuck out and stuck with me. I've constantly been thinking of this post and how I can reframe my "flaws", because doesn't the world flaw seem to indicate it's outside of the norm? While we are often presented with this idea that we should be flawless, meeting some sort of beauty ideal and that we should make this all look natural or pretend that others woke up without any stories showing on their faces the fact of the matter is...none of us actually look the way we do when we're trying to cover our flaws.
Anyway, I hope this can help you reframe your flaws...to see the stories behind them or to see the connections to your family or children that the flaws point to.
However, after laughing at this image it got me thinking...maybe there is something deeper to it. Firstly, (and perhaps the foundation of my thoughts on this) I think most kids don't think that they are pointing out flaws they are just pointing out things that they observe and because of our experience in this world we hear them as "flaws". Over time when we hear enough that we should be trying to "erase our wrinkles/fine lines", spots or "blemishes" we learn to believe that there is we should be hiding because it makes us worth less or be less than others...as though everyone else isn't doing the exact same thing.
Secondly, I wonder if perhaps what our children are truly pointing out to us most of the time are the things that make us unique to them. Obviously, we all look different on a level outside of our wrinkles, scars, and spots but it is these flaws that make us even more unique. That combined they tell our stories, and as we tell those stories our children remember them and then that scar that we've been told is a flaw and needs to be hidden is suddenly something our child sees as a unique feature about us. When they look at us and take us in as a whole they see the stories, unique characteristics, and experiences that have made us who they know.
If I didn't have my flaws the story of that time I fell off a swing and got rocks in my chin might not be told. My teenagers might not have the reminder that they are not alone in their struggle with acne, that I get it because the scars of my experience are there. On that same note they may not learn that when I'm anxious or stressed I pick at things...fingernails, scabs, zits. If all my "flaws" were not visible not only would my face not hold my stories, but neither would my hands, my legs or my body. They probably wouldn't learn that I had gotten into a splashing war while teaching canoeing at camp and got a huge gash in my ring finger the same week I got engaged.
This is a short thought for today but it was something that stuck out and stuck with me. I've constantly been thinking of this post and how I can reframe my "flaws", because doesn't the world flaw seem to indicate it's outside of the norm? While we are often presented with this idea that we should be flawless, meeting some sort of beauty ideal and that we should make this all look natural or pretend that others woke up without any stories showing on their faces the fact of the matter is...none of us actually look the way we do when we're trying to cover our flaws.
Anyway, I hope this can help you reframe your flaws...to see the stories behind them or to see the connections to your family or children that the flaws point to.
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