Where is my dependency? Where do I go for comfort in trial and to celebrate in joy? Who do I run to first when I feel my heart break? What do I do with my anxieties and fears?
God calls us to depend on Him first, that He is always our first love, that we put nothing else before Him. I'm reading a devotional right now that's all about putting God first, it's a devotional based off the book "I am Second". As I was thinking about that idea this morning I wondered at whether it's really that I have a problem placing myself in second or whether my problem is placing others before God. There is a comfort of having someone sit physically beside you, take you in their arms and hug you when you are feeling low. And I don't think that there is anything wrong with that. I know that God has given us others to support and encourage us, to give us hugs and sit with us when we need it. He has given us fellowship and relationship for a reason, because He has made us relational, He created us to be WITH others. He also created us with a need for Him.
So, what do I do with this? As a person who loves God, but also gains greatly from my friendships with others, how do I find the balance between going to God and going to others. I think it truly matters where I go first. There are times I believe where we will go to God and His response will be to give us a friend. There are times also where we may feel unable to go before God ourselves, sometimes we need others by our side praying with us and supporting us as we tremble before our Father. Other times we may feel so surrounded by darkness that we can see no way out and we need someone to come alongside us and pray for us, intercede for us so that we may see the light again.
God is truly the bringer of peace, comfort, joy and all good gifts. I believe that when we go to Him, He hears our prayers and He responds. Although, He does not always respond when we want or how we want. I think often times we are so focused on immediate relief or response that we forget about the growth and depth that comes from wrestling through things WITH God. That out of moments of pain, trial, anxiety, sadness, or frustration can come a greater understanding of who He is and a greater depth to our relationship with Him; and a deeper love for Him will be discovered.
He does not ask for us to "go it alone" but He should be our primary support and strength. It should be the case that He is always there, that we are inviting Him into our every conversation, moment, struggle and joy. Then with Him we will walk, we will understand the goodness that comes from Him, that even in our "worse" moments we will feel ourselves drawing near to Him as we work things out with Him by our side.