Hello Everyone! I have been trying to think up a stupendous idea for my first blog post on here in a while. However, the more I thought, the less ideas I had...and the less ideas I had the more overwhelmed I got and the less I felt like actually starting this again. So, this will not be the most inspiring thing you have ever read but at least it's here!
For the past two years I have arrived in January and thought, "If I do one thing this year it's going to be to write more. Who care what it is- I'm just going to write...everyday!" Then when I finally sat to breathe during nap times or the end of the day the last thing I felt like doing was writing. I have so many ideas as to why this is but it all ends up in the same place I just wasn't "inspired". Yet, I truly miss writing and I think that I have not only gotten out of the habit but also I'm a bit rough with it now. I'm sure it's akin to any other skill- when you stop doing it as much you aren't as good at it and it takes time to sharpen and hone it.
Before kids, I had more time to do that. However, I don't think it's an excuse to stop doing things that I love or that require a bit more time or effort than something like watching Gilmore Girls for the 500th time.
To be quite honest the one thing that always stops me from writing are questions like, "Is it good enough? Does my voice matter? Is it comparable? Is it better? Is there any point?" And often times the answer that comes back to me when I asks these questions to myself is, "No." or "I don't want to find out that I'm not good enough." Even as I type this I hear the therapist part of me going, "Wait. Hold up." because...I basically have decided the negative ending before finding any proof. In order to protect myself from perceived future failure I've just decided I'm not going to try at all. Which, truly, is not something I'm going to be happy about at the end of my life.
I have been writing this novel for...about 5 years now. In the past 2 years it hasn't had a whole lot of movement except an edit here and there. I also started writing another story about 8 years ago and scrapped it because, well, it didn't feel "good enough". And maybe it wouldn't have been "good enough" for someone to want to publish it or for anyone to want to read it outside of maybe my best friend and...uhm...possibly two other people. But that doesn't mean it wouldn't be worth writing.
All of this rambling to say. I'm going to show up here...daily...for 40 days (because it feels Biblical) and we'll see what happens. Maybe nothing, maybe something. Maybe all that will happen is that I will get back into writing. Maybe I'll get back into paying attention to that inkling of a story that sits patiently in my thoughts or thinking through and idea and sharing it. Maybe. Can you tell I'm confident?
Thanks for making it to the end, I hope you'll join me on the journey. Let me know if there's anything you want to know...or would love to see written about. I'm here for pretty much anything...except maybe an in depth political expose because I don't have the time or patience for that.
For the past two years I have arrived in January and thought, "If I do one thing this year it's going to be to write more. Who care what it is- I'm just going to write...everyday!" Then when I finally sat to breathe during nap times or the end of the day the last thing I felt like doing was writing. I have so many ideas as to why this is but it all ends up in the same place I just wasn't "inspired". Yet, I truly miss writing and I think that I have not only gotten out of the habit but also I'm a bit rough with it now. I'm sure it's akin to any other skill- when you stop doing it as much you aren't as good at it and it takes time to sharpen and hone it.
Before kids, I had more time to do that. However, I don't think it's an excuse to stop doing things that I love or that require a bit more time or effort than something like watching Gilmore Girls for the 500th time.
To be quite honest the one thing that always stops me from writing are questions like, "Is it good enough? Does my voice matter? Is it comparable? Is it better? Is there any point?" And often times the answer that comes back to me when I asks these questions to myself is, "No." or "I don't want to find out that I'm not good enough." Even as I type this I hear the therapist part of me going, "Wait. Hold up." because...I basically have decided the negative ending before finding any proof. In order to protect myself from perceived future failure I've just decided I'm not going to try at all. Which, truly, is not something I'm going to be happy about at the end of my life.
I have been writing this novel for...about 5 years now. In the past 2 years it hasn't had a whole lot of movement except an edit here and there. I also started writing another story about 8 years ago and scrapped it because, well, it didn't feel "good enough". And maybe it wouldn't have been "good enough" for someone to want to publish it or for anyone to want to read it outside of maybe my best friend and...uhm...possibly two other people. But that doesn't mean it wouldn't be worth writing.
All of this rambling to say. I'm going to show up here...daily...for 40 days (because it feels Biblical) and we'll see what happens. Maybe nothing, maybe something. Maybe all that will happen is that I will get back into writing. Maybe I'll get back into paying attention to that inkling of a story that sits patiently in my thoughts or thinking through and idea and sharing it. Maybe. Can you tell I'm confident?
Thanks for making it to the end, I hope you'll join me on the journey. Let me know if there's anything you want to know...or would love to see written about. I'm here for pretty much anything...except maybe an in depth political expose because I don't have the time or patience for that.
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