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Breathing

I never expected blogging every day to be so dang hard! That's not true, I knew that writing every day would take time and effort but I did think that I would sit down every time and draw a complete blank. Oddly the boys have been napping pretty well so most days I've had the opportunity to actually get something written. Tomorrow is my youngest's birthday party, so between having a client in the morning and the party right after I'm not sure I will have time to blog- but dangit, I will try!

Have you guys ever realized how life changing taking time to breathe can be? When I finished that paragraph above I was still drawing a blank so I decided to slow myself down, pray and breathe. When I first started my counselling degree I was a little bit weary of the whole CBT/deep breathing thing- which is kind of hilarious because the efficacy of both are proven time and again. I felt like I would basically be trying to pull the wool over my own eyes. It felt like internally I was saying to myself, "Ignore how you're feeling and just pretend you feel okay by taking a few deep breaths or telling yourself that automatic thought you're having isn't true." Most of that thought process just goes to show how little I truly understood the practice of CBT or deep breathing.

There have been many instances since but I think there were two moments where I really realized just how powerful intentionally breathing can really be. One moment was with one of my first clients- I could tell they were feeling anxious (and quite honestly I was too) and so I suggested that we try breathing together. It ended up being how we began every one of our sessions, and it slowed things down so much. Every week I was reminded about what a difference it makes to just stop, pause and breathe...even if just for a minute.

The other time that stands out to me was when we were learning about a therapeutic approach (perhaps orientation might be a better word?) called Focusing. One of the things you do at the beginning of a more structured focusing session is breathe and focus (haha) your attention to the area between your chest and belly button. Whenever I practiced focusing, either in the class or outside of class time I was struck by the fact that it didn't necessarily change how I was feeling but it helped me to slow down a bit to be able to acknowledge just what that feeling or sense was.

I've learned since that time when I first began my counselling degree that taking time to breathe isn't about ignoring or pretending you no longer feel a certain way, but it's about slowing yourself down and helping your body settle into a place that is more calm. It's giving yourself the space to be able to look at your thoughts/feelings/senses and not only accept them but be curious about them.

As I just took another breath, mostly to test if it actually was as great as I was making it out to be, I was reminded of perhaps one of the most influential moments where I learned the power of breathing. I think I even wrote about it here! During my Master's program we had to take part in something called spiritual direction. My time with my spiritual director was such an incredible gift and helped me find comfort and peace in some areas that had been causing me quite a bit of distress. One of the things that they shared with me (and that we also learned about in class)  was breath prayers. They are prayers that you can repeat on in and out breaths. One that my spiritual director suggested to me was the phrase "I breathe in the light of Christ, I breathe out what is not of Him."

I'm an incredibly visual person so when it came to using this breath prayer I could actually picture myself breathing in "light" (which to me perhaps more so felt like peace) and breathing out that anxiety, worry, negativity. Doing this not only helped me settle but it also helped me determine if there was any truth to the things that weighed on me.

So, if you're reading this at the end of your day or the beginning...or I supposed even somewhere in the middle. Why not take a few deep breaths? Close your eyes (I'm assuming since you're reading this you aren't driving) and just breath slowly in through your nose...and out through your mouth. Do it once, do it 100 times and just note how it feels.

Thanks for sticking with me, friends, as I find my way back into this writing life.

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