I've been wanting to write on this idea all week, but whenever I finally sat down and turned on the computer every thought I had about it left my mind. So, I'm going to try just starting and see where it goes...and also hope that both my kids sleep long enough that I get a chance to finish my thoughts (ha!).
Recently my eldest has become obsessed with Frozen...which means I'm asked at least 5 times a day to "play Elsa" or "play let it goooooo, let it gooooOOOO". By this he means for me to play the Frozen music generally "Do You Want to Build a Snowman" or "Let it Go". So, I have found myself immersed often in these two songs...so maybe I've just had a lot of time to overthink the lyrics and read more into them than is there. However, I remember the first time I head Let it Go and I was struck by the symbolism in the song. It may have hit me more strongly because my friend's 6-year-old niece was belting away to it in the back seat and it felt like a bit of a dark song for a kid to be singing.
One of the first choruses is
"The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside,
couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I've tried.
Don't let them in, don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know
Well, now they know."
If you've seen the movie you know that she's talking about the powers that she has, powers that are directly impacted by her emotions. As a child she becomes acutely aware of how the emotions of fear, sadness and anger impact her ability to control her powers and is encouraged to basically "stop feeling" the more "negative" emotions. This only seems to make things more out of control, as she in constantly struggling to contain her powers.
To me all I can see in this is symbolism for how we respond to and tend to our emotions not only internally but how we present them to other people. I was thinking particularly of women and girls in this scenario but as I was typing this out I realized how applicable this is for men and boys as well. We're often not encouraged to share the harder emotions, and it is understood that socially we need to present the more "positive" and "happy" side of ourselves in order to be seen as "good" or "acceptable". There is a more recent parenting movement where parents are encouraged to get down at their child's level, to be curious about their sometimes seemingly irrational and intense emotional response to things and to not say, "stop crying". However, this is relatively new...and as none of our children are surrounded by perfect people they will at some point receive the message that being "good" means being "happy".
When I first started thinking about this song and it's connection to our emotions I thought of a word picture one of my supervisors shared about anxiety. They explained that anxiety (or any emotion) is kind of like a beach ball in the water, we can push it under (and hold it there) as many times or for as long as we want but eventually it's either going to slip out of our grasp and pop back up or we're going to grow so exhausted from trying to hold it under that we will have to let it go (haha). Then instead of us knowing where this beach ball is (to some extent) it's just kind of popping up suddenly at random, unpredictable, times.
You get the sense in this song "Let it Go" that she finally feels some freedom- she's allowed to freely feel the emotions (or use her powers) without fear of hurting anyone around her. She's alone (later she calls herself the "queen of isolation") and it feels good. However, as any of us knows...isolating ourselves is never really a long term solution. It works for a time, but doesn't help us figure out how to respond to our emotions or feel our emotions in the presence of others. It also keeps others from being able to hear us out, support us and love us...no matter what.
Later in the movie Elsa's sister (Anna) is searching for her and when she meets her to convince her to come back home she reaches out to her to say that she knows that her and Elsa can figure things out because they're together. This is, to me, such a powerful thing. She isn't scared or bothered by her sister's feelings, she would rather know about them and hear about them than be shut out. She wants her sister in her life and she wants to support her through it.
This just makes me think about how we often think others don't want to hear how we truly are. Now partly this is because we are told that we should hide it and partly because some people really don't want to know...however I think some of it is just a fear that we will hurt or scare other people. So in an effort to shield others from hurt or pain we hide how we are...not giving others the option to stand "hand-in-hand" with us.
I just love that there is depth to be found in these kids movies that can seem so simple at first glance. I've been finding recently that I'm often surprised at the depth that can be found in children's stories, movies or shows. Obviously there isn't depth in all of them (I'm looking at you Peppa Pig). However, I think if we look for it that we can find it and talk about it and explore it with our kids and just with each other (no shame!). It's such a great opportunity to have those conversations...and things are always cooler when they're framed as powers anyway!
It's got me thinking about other kids stories with powerful, important messages. I would truly love to know if there are any that you can think of or that surprised you? Send me a message, I'd love to hear!
Recently my eldest has become obsessed with Frozen...which means I'm asked at least 5 times a day to "play Elsa" or "play let it goooooo, let it gooooOOOO". By this he means for me to play the Frozen music generally "Do You Want to Build a Snowman" or "Let it Go". So, I have found myself immersed often in these two songs...so maybe I've just had a lot of time to overthink the lyrics and read more into them than is there. However, I remember the first time I head Let it Go and I was struck by the symbolism in the song. It may have hit me more strongly because my friend's 6-year-old niece was belting away to it in the back seat and it felt like a bit of a dark song for a kid to be singing.
One of the first choruses is
"The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside,
couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I've tried.
Don't let them in, don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know
Well, now they know."
If you've seen the movie you know that she's talking about the powers that she has, powers that are directly impacted by her emotions. As a child she becomes acutely aware of how the emotions of fear, sadness and anger impact her ability to control her powers and is encouraged to basically "stop feeling" the more "negative" emotions. This only seems to make things more out of control, as she in constantly struggling to contain her powers.
To me all I can see in this is symbolism for how we respond to and tend to our emotions not only internally but how we present them to other people. I was thinking particularly of women and girls in this scenario but as I was typing this out I realized how applicable this is for men and boys as well. We're often not encouraged to share the harder emotions, and it is understood that socially we need to present the more "positive" and "happy" side of ourselves in order to be seen as "good" or "acceptable". There is a more recent parenting movement where parents are encouraged to get down at their child's level, to be curious about their sometimes seemingly irrational and intense emotional response to things and to not say, "stop crying". However, this is relatively new...and as none of our children are surrounded by perfect people they will at some point receive the message that being "good" means being "happy".
When I first started thinking about this song and it's connection to our emotions I thought of a word picture one of my supervisors shared about anxiety. They explained that anxiety (or any emotion) is kind of like a beach ball in the water, we can push it under (and hold it there) as many times or for as long as we want but eventually it's either going to slip out of our grasp and pop back up or we're going to grow so exhausted from trying to hold it under that we will have to let it go (haha). Then instead of us knowing where this beach ball is (to some extent) it's just kind of popping up suddenly at random, unpredictable, times.
You get the sense in this song "Let it Go" that she finally feels some freedom- she's allowed to freely feel the emotions (or use her powers) without fear of hurting anyone around her. She's alone (later she calls herself the "queen of isolation") and it feels good. However, as any of us knows...isolating ourselves is never really a long term solution. It works for a time, but doesn't help us figure out how to respond to our emotions or feel our emotions in the presence of others. It also keeps others from being able to hear us out, support us and love us...no matter what.
Later in the movie Elsa's sister (Anna) is searching for her and when she meets her to convince her to come back home she reaches out to her to say that she knows that her and Elsa can figure things out because they're together. This is, to me, such a powerful thing. She isn't scared or bothered by her sister's feelings, she would rather know about them and hear about them than be shut out. She wants her sister in her life and she wants to support her through it.
This just makes me think about how we often think others don't want to hear how we truly are. Now partly this is because we are told that we should hide it and partly because some people really don't want to know...however I think some of it is just a fear that we will hurt or scare other people. So in an effort to shield others from hurt or pain we hide how we are...not giving others the option to stand "hand-in-hand" with us.
I just love that there is depth to be found in these kids movies that can seem so simple at first glance. I've been finding recently that I'm often surprised at the depth that can be found in children's stories, movies or shows. Obviously there isn't depth in all of them (I'm looking at you Peppa Pig). However, I think if we look for it that we can find it and talk about it and explore it with our kids and just with each other (no shame!). It's such a great opportunity to have those conversations...and things are always cooler when they're framed as powers anyway!
It's got me thinking about other kids stories with powerful, important messages. I would truly love to know if there are any that you can think of or that surprised you? Send me a message, I'd love to hear!
Comments
Post a Comment