Guys, it has been one heck of a week! Basically all of us ended up getting sick and now we are quarantined until the kids symptoms disappear. Thankfully everyone seems to be on the mend and spirits are much brighter than they were on the weekend. I have not had much downtime in which I could think or write so I figured I would grab this chance to come on here and say, "Hi"!
This is an aside and something I know I should already have learned, however, I have always struggled with where to put the punctuation at the end of a sentence like the one above. Do you put two sets of punctuation, for example "Hi!". OR just one like I did above? I was never particularly good at grammar, as I struggled to grasp all the rules, so I have never really applied them. I can actually remember learning grammar in elementary school and thinking, "I really do NOT get this." Then I never really felt like the basics were taught again so I just learned by trial and error and those green squiggly lines in Microsoft Word telling me I was doing something wrong.
About a week ago my Mom pulled out this box for me of a bunch of report cards and schoolwork from my elementary school years and it was so great to look through. Sadly, I didn't get through all of it and I'm looking forward to continuing to flip through it. There were a couple of things that stood out to me. The first, perhaps less interesting, thing was that I wrote very matter-of-fact. We had to keep a journal about what we did over March Break and it was almost like I was trying to write cryptically, but I think I actually just assumed the other person would know what I was talking about. I think I was in grade 2 when this journal was kept and one of the entries was "We went to pick up my aunt. She babysat us while my Mom was at work." Plus another sentence on what we did. I included nothing about if I was happy that my aunt watched us, which aunt I was talking about (it turned out it was not in fact a familial aunt but an honourary "aunt" but this took my Mom and I some discussion to figure out), nor did I really include any details about what we did that could help you understand what exactly were were doing.
Also, this notebook was a MESS. My attention to detail (or lack there of) was a constant remark in my report cards. Along with comments about needing to slow down and take my time and apparently how I needed to learn the importance of quiet time and not talking to my peers all the time. If you've ever studied with me...you may know that I still struggle with this last one...and probably the first ones as well if I'm honest.
The other things that stood out to me was my grades. I went to a private school, that was generally populated by families who cared greatly about their children's grades and academic performance. Perhaps this is the case everywhere, however, I think there was a cultural factor at play here that emphasized this fact even more. Whenever I would think back to my grades in elementary school I always remembered being "average" or "below average" in my grades. So, when reflecting on that in later years I assumed that put me in the 65-78% range. I also think that it also shaped slightly what I believed about my own intelligence, I thought after looking at my marks that I was generally of "below average" intelligence. Which I just kind of accepted and moved on. I would never be the "smart one" and I felt as though I was okay with that.
In looking back and even reflecting on myself now, I still carry that with me. I never would define myself as intelligent and if I had to categorize my intelligence (honestly) I would probably still put it in that lower average slot. Which I realize is probably flawed thinking, however when the "average" you are surrounded by is high...it actually isn't flawed. Does that make sense? I guess what I'm trying to say is that the "below average to average" descriptor was an accurate description of myself in the specific population I was in, but perhaps not if compared to the general population.
Let's use an example. One of the marks I had was an 89% (can't remember in what) which is a pretty decent grade! However, the class average was 92%. So, I was below average. There were two places in that report card where I was above average, Music and I think potentially gym. That fact just makes me laugh because in a very academically focused school it makes sense that those are the areas were a less "academically inclined" child would succeed.
As my parents, husband and I were discussing all of this we also started noting other consistent comments and patterns in the report cards. I've been struggling to figure out how to say this without tooting my own horn, so I would like to put the disclaimer that I am only sharing this to make an interesting (I guess that's for you to decide) point. The one thing that the teachers constantly said was that I was "kind, sensitive, helpful, joyful, caring towards other students and a pleasure to teach". Sometimes I think we can get so wrapped up in the academic success of our children and fear for their future and them "failing" at life that we forget about the importance of raising children who are kind and compassionate. I'm not trying to say we shouldn't care about our children's education, and encourage them to enjoy learning and to help them to succeed in their learning. However, one's child's success at learning may look like 85% and another's may look like 63%. And BOTH are success.
There's a personality test online called the 16 Personalities Test (here) which is fascinating, but a fascination I can get into another time. However, one of the questions is "Would you rather your child be kind or smart." Now I thought this question was a "no brainer". Of course I would want my child to be kind rather than smart! I don't want a mean kid! Then I forced (and yes...it was force) my husband to take the test and he got to that question and all of a sudden I realized...we disagreed. Obviously, he doesn't want a jerk of a kid, he just places more importance on intelligence (by the way this isn't a bad thing). Ideally I think most of us kind of hope for an intelligent kid who is super kind, compassionate, emotionally intelligent and loving but the likelihood of that happening is pretty unlikely.
Guys this has just got my mind running in 500 different directions and I really should have tried to focus my thoughts before starting off on this tangent. Firstly, I'm thinking about how society defines intelligence (isn't there more than one type of intelligence?"). Secondly, I'm thinking about how we see "success" is this necessarily a "good" thing...is it necessarily a "bad" thing. Thirdly, I'm thinking about the impact it could have if we placed a more balanced emphasis on characteristics...or perhaps not even characteristics but just loving people as they are for who they are aside from their characteristics.
I have no idea where I was going with this. I'm going to blame the randomness of this post on the lack of sleep, lack of human contact outside of my children, husband and doctor and being stuck inside my house. I think this post is getting too long so I'm going to probably continue on this "train" of thought (more like...chicken with it's head cut off) tomorrow. Thanks for sticking it out, friends. If there is a thought that would would like me to expand on please text me or call me or message me or comment. I'd prefer to write what you want to read instead of babbling away incoherently. I think I'm going to put on Sense and Sensibility (Oh! OR Emma!) until the boys wake from their naps. Cherrio!
This is an aside and something I know I should already have learned, however, I have always struggled with where to put the punctuation at the end of a sentence like the one above. Do you put two sets of punctuation, for example "Hi!". OR just one like I did above? I was never particularly good at grammar, as I struggled to grasp all the rules, so I have never really applied them. I can actually remember learning grammar in elementary school and thinking, "I really do NOT get this." Then I never really felt like the basics were taught again so I just learned by trial and error and those green squiggly lines in Microsoft Word telling me I was doing something wrong.
About a week ago my Mom pulled out this box for me of a bunch of report cards and schoolwork from my elementary school years and it was so great to look through. Sadly, I didn't get through all of it and I'm looking forward to continuing to flip through it. There were a couple of things that stood out to me. The first, perhaps less interesting, thing was that I wrote very matter-of-fact. We had to keep a journal about what we did over March Break and it was almost like I was trying to write cryptically, but I think I actually just assumed the other person would know what I was talking about. I think I was in grade 2 when this journal was kept and one of the entries was "We went to pick up my aunt. She babysat us while my Mom was at work." Plus another sentence on what we did. I included nothing about if I was happy that my aunt watched us, which aunt I was talking about (it turned out it was not in fact a familial aunt but an honourary "aunt" but this took my Mom and I some discussion to figure out), nor did I really include any details about what we did that could help you understand what exactly were were doing.
Also, this notebook was a MESS. My attention to detail (or lack there of) was a constant remark in my report cards. Along with comments about needing to slow down and take my time and apparently how I needed to learn the importance of quiet time and not talking to my peers all the time. If you've ever studied with me...you may know that I still struggle with this last one...and probably the first ones as well if I'm honest.
The other things that stood out to me was my grades. I went to a private school, that was generally populated by families who cared greatly about their children's grades and academic performance. Perhaps this is the case everywhere, however, I think there was a cultural factor at play here that emphasized this fact even more. Whenever I would think back to my grades in elementary school I always remembered being "average" or "below average" in my grades. So, when reflecting on that in later years I assumed that put me in the 65-78% range. I also think that it also shaped slightly what I believed about my own intelligence, I thought after looking at my marks that I was generally of "below average" intelligence. Which I just kind of accepted and moved on. I would never be the "smart one" and I felt as though I was okay with that.
In looking back and even reflecting on myself now, I still carry that with me. I never would define myself as intelligent and if I had to categorize my intelligence (honestly) I would probably still put it in that lower average slot. Which I realize is probably flawed thinking, however when the "average" you are surrounded by is high...it actually isn't flawed. Does that make sense? I guess what I'm trying to say is that the "below average to average" descriptor was an accurate description of myself in the specific population I was in, but perhaps not if compared to the general population.
Let's use an example. One of the marks I had was an 89% (can't remember in what) which is a pretty decent grade! However, the class average was 92%. So, I was below average. There were two places in that report card where I was above average, Music and I think potentially gym. That fact just makes me laugh because in a very academically focused school it makes sense that those are the areas were a less "academically inclined" child would succeed.
As my parents, husband and I were discussing all of this we also started noting other consistent comments and patterns in the report cards. I've been struggling to figure out how to say this without tooting my own horn, so I would like to put the disclaimer that I am only sharing this to make an interesting (I guess that's for you to decide) point. The one thing that the teachers constantly said was that I was "kind, sensitive, helpful, joyful, caring towards other students and a pleasure to teach". Sometimes I think we can get so wrapped up in the academic success of our children and fear for their future and them "failing" at life that we forget about the importance of raising children who are kind and compassionate. I'm not trying to say we shouldn't care about our children's education, and encourage them to enjoy learning and to help them to succeed in their learning. However, one's child's success at learning may look like 85% and another's may look like 63%. And BOTH are success.
There's a personality test online called the 16 Personalities Test (here) which is fascinating, but a fascination I can get into another time. However, one of the questions is "Would you rather your child be kind or smart." Now I thought this question was a "no brainer". Of course I would want my child to be kind rather than smart! I don't want a mean kid! Then I forced (and yes...it was force) my husband to take the test and he got to that question and all of a sudden I realized...we disagreed. Obviously, he doesn't want a jerk of a kid, he just places more importance on intelligence (by the way this isn't a bad thing). Ideally I think most of us kind of hope for an intelligent kid who is super kind, compassionate, emotionally intelligent and loving but the likelihood of that happening is pretty unlikely.
Guys this has just got my mind running in 500 different directions and I really should have tried to focus my thoughts before starting off on this tangent. Firstly, I'm thinking about how society defines intelligence (isn't there more than one type of intelligence?"). Secondly, I'm thinking about how we see "success" is this necessarily a "good" thing...is it necessarily a "bad" thing. Thirdly, I'm thinking about the impact it could have if we placed a more balanced emphasis on characteristics...or perhaps not even characteristics but just loving people as they are for who they are aside from their characteristics.
I have no idea where I was going with this. I'm going to blame the randomness of this post on the lack of sleep, lack of human contact outside of my children, husband and doctor and being stuck inside my house. I think this post is getting too long so I'm going to probably continue on this "train" of thought (more like...chicken with it's head cut off) tomorrow. Thanks for sticking it out, friends. If there is a thought that would would like me to expand on please text me or call me or message me or comment. I'd prefer to write what you want to read instead of babbling away incoherently. I think I'm going to put on Sense and Sensibility (Oh! OR Emma!) until the boys wake from their naps. Cherrio!
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