I'm not sure if I'll actually end up posting this because the fact that it was written on my phone just goes to show the informality of it all. I just had some thoughts swirling around in my head and since I hadn't written today I figured I should just grasp them and see if they go anywhere.
If you've ever watched multiple movies with me (that you haven't picked) you're likely to notice a few themes. One of them being that I don't set the bar particularly high, I'm not necessarily looking to watch something that is going to win Oscars. Another theme is that I absolutely love "coming of age" stories or teen drama. On the embarassing side this includes High School Musical (which perhaps is neither a coming of age or a drama...) and on the slightly less ridiculous side it's movies like The Edge of Seventeen, To the Bone and Boyhood.
As I was watching another Netflix coming of age/teen romance movie I got to thinking about what it is that I appreciate so much about these movies. One thing I have to say for Netflix is that while they often do rely on a routine script for a teen romance, something that they do fairly well is have stronger female characters that generally have a fairly strong sense of self. They don't easily change themselves for the guy they are interested in. I also appreciate that in most of the Netflix movies I've watched that are PG is that they truly do keep it on that level and there seems to also be this communication that sex isn't the be all and end all of any relationship. Which, to be honest, is often what is communicated in a lot of other romantic movies. Anyway, that's a rabbit trail into my appreciation for how Netflix does coming of age movies...
Back to what I was originally saying. In trying to figure out what it is I appreciate I realized that it's the rawness of emotions that are expressed. You really are reminded of that intensity of the feelings that you had in high school. Which has it's nausea inducing side of "Oh my goodness that was embarassing how strongly I felt about that situation." But also on the other side I feel this appreciation for the reminder. The reminder that to feel intensely isn't negative (especially when your prefrontal cortex is more developed)...and that life can be so richly experienced when we allow ourselves to feel more deeply.
There is something innocent in some of the dramas we went through as teenagers. Even the drama that perhaps wasn't so innocent and perhaps was truly heartbreaking...
I'm not saying that I want to experience everything the way I did as a teen because, man, that was a rollercoaster. However, watching these movies reminds me of the positive side to that intensity as well. Doing something like lying under the stars, or talking with friends on a dock at the cottage or simply just sitting and thinking was so much more of a rich experience. I remember reading something somewhere that talked about how you can't just full your experience of one emotion because what you end up doing is dulling all of them. In other words, if I no longer want to feel sadness I actually also dull my capacity to feel joy. It's like how they say when losing weight you can't "spot reduce" it just doesn't work that way. Perhaps with emotions we can't really spot reduce either.
Obviously not all of the softening of the intensity of emotions is because we have begun to protect ourselves against the less pleasant feeling emotions, but I do wonder if that is a part of it. Would I enjoy moments more, just the experience of being and living if I allowed myself to feel more in general? If I approached life with the reminder of the vibrancy I felt as a youth would my life become more full in some ways? Maybe not...but maybe yes?
Anyway, those are my typed out phone thoughts. They could be incredibly embarassing and not ready for public consumption...but here they are! Enjoy!
If you've ever watched multiple movies with me (that you haven't picked) you're likely to notice a few themes. One of them being that I don't set the bar particularly high, I'm not necessarily looking to watch something that is going to win Oscars. Another theme is that I absolutely love "coming of age" stories or teen drama. On the embarassing side this includes High School Musical (which perhaps is neither a coming of age or a drama...) and on the slightly less ridiculous side it's movies like The Edge of Seventeen, To the Bone and Boyhood.
As I was watching another Netflix coming of age/teen romance movie I got to thinking about what it is that I appreciate so much about these movies. One thing I have to say for Netflix is that while they often do rely on a routine script for a teen romance, something that they do fairly well is have stronger female characters that generally have a fairly strong sense of self. They don't easily change themselves for the guy they are interested in. I also appreciate that in most of the Netflix movies I've watched that are PG is that they truly do keep it on that level and there seems to also be this communication that sex isn't the be all and end all of any relationship. Which, to be honest, is often what is communicated in a lot of other romantic movies. Anyway, that's a rabbit trail into my appreciation for how Netflix does coming of age movies...
Back to what I was originally saying. In trying to figure out what it is I appreciate I realized that it's the rawness of emotions that are expressed. You really are reminded of that intensity of the feelings that you had in high school. Which has it's nausea inducing side of "Oh my goodness that was embarassing how strongly I felt about that situation." But also on the other side I feel this appreciation for the reminder. The reminder that to feel intensely isn't negative (especially when your prefrontal cortex is more developed)...and that life can be so richly experienced when we allow ourselves to feel more deeply.
There is something innocent in some of the dramas we went through as teenagers. Even the drama that perhaps wasn't so innocent and perhaps was truly heartbreaking...
I'm not saying that I want to experience everything the way I did as a teen because, man, that was a rollercoaster. However, watching these movies reminds me of the positive side to that intensity as well. Doing something like lying under the stars, or talking with friends on a dock at the cottage or simply just sitting and thinking was so much more of a rich experience. I remember reading something somewhere that talked about how you can't just full your experience of one emotion because what you end up doing is dulling all of them. In other words, if I no longer want to feel sadness I actually also dull my capacity to feel joy. It's like how they say when losing weight you can't "spot reduce" it just doesn't work that way. Perhaps with emotions we can't really spot reduce either.
Obviously not all of the softening of the intensity of emotions is because we have begun to protect ourselves against the less pleasant feeling emotions, but I do wonder if that is a part of it. Would I enjoy moments more, just the experience of being and living if I allowed myself to feel more in general? If I approached life with the reminder of the vibrancy I felt as a youth would my life become more full in some ways? Maybe not...but maybe yes?
Anyway, those are my typed out phone thoughts. They could be incredibly embarassing and not ready for public consumption...but here they are! Enjoy!
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