I'm Here

As you can tell recently I've felt this urge to write. I was sitting attempting to write a paper yesterday, which wasn't really the type of writing my heart was longing for. So I opened another word document and said, "God, I just want to write for You...I miss it." And here was His response to my desire...

God, I want to write a song that speaks about your grace

yet sadly in this head of mine I’m stuck in a hurting place.

I sit here crying out to You, asking where You’ve been

Along this long, hard road of mine undoubtedly filled with sin.

I’m reaching out, I’m calling you, I’m crying in my mind

But deep inside this heart of mine it’s emptiness you’d find.

Three years ago I felt my heart build walls against your voice

Afraid that I wasn’t hearing you and making the wrong choice.

I heard this voice inside my head, reciting “You’re not loved,

You haven’t done enough for Him to reach His heights above”.

I’ve struggled with this quiet voice, which whispers in my ear

And at times I’ve heard your straining voice shouting out, “I’m here!”

You’ve spoken truth and love to me amidst my struggle and my shame

That I was not feeling you and that I was the one to blame.

My head was telling me you need to know Him and in that you’ll grow.

So though the path is winding still some seeds in me you’ve sown.

You’ve told me that this love we share is not just of the heart,

But in order to grow in love for you knowing is where I should start.

You’ve shown me glimmers of your grace along the rocky road,

And on this winding road of ours Your presence lightens my load.

I know we still have bumps ahead in this life of mine

But I hope that at the end of it, it’s Your love that will shine.

Please be with me as I move forward in your amazing grace,

And as I learn this heart of yours and eventually greet you face-to-face.