Not quite sure what this blog post is going to turn into yet..so it may be disconnected.
I've been thinking about the fact that people say that if you really want to start blogging you should write everyday!
I hate to burst everyone's bubble who reads this, but my life isn't exciting enough to write something everyday. I don't do any crafts or DIY projects, so that goes out the window. I do bake, but the process isn't beautiful, and well we don't own a camera so there would be no pictures of the outcome. I could tell you about my day, but frankly I think I would lose you instead of gain more readers.
I've also been thinking about that comment I made the other day and I've been wondering when the time will come to tell you about it. There are maybe three people who know about it, my husband, one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world, and my spiritual director. But I just don't feel like now's the time, or maybe I'm hoping to drag you all along for a while so you'll keep reading. ;)
Anywho, Rob and I were talking last night about lent and the fact that I really wanted to give up TV/movies for Lent becuase I know that we watch a lot of them. We decided that it would be a really good thing, and besides it's only 40 days right? (right?!) Now we realize we're a little late on the lent thing, but I figure God will forgive us. Lent is supposed to be a time of repentance, soul-searching and re-dedication. It's a time where we sacrifice something in order to focus more fully on Christ, or at least that's how I've come to understand it in the last few years. Did you know that lent originally just meant the season that we now refer to as spring? Interesting. The things you learn while writing blogs.
Since Rob is in Shanghai this week we've decided he gets a little wiggle room because a 14 hour flight, plus being in another country and not being able to walk around on his own (not something I expected in Shanghai) he might get a little bored. He brought books, the first two books of The Hunger Game series (Hurrah! I finally will get to talk about them!), but if he reads those as fast as I devoured them they won't last him too long. Now obviously this is a time to focus more fully on God, but it is also good to be gracious with this kind of thing.
This decision really hit me this morning, after coming home to an empty apartment- and maybe wanting to cry a little bit because of said empty apartment- how weird it is to not just go and watch a movie, or chat with Rob or sit and be silent with Rob. With him not being around and not watching TV or movies I have quite a bit of extra time.
And since I'm still having a little bit of a "can I just cry for a few minutes please?" moment the whole homework thing is not sounding so appealing.
What has been wonderful though today is the power of breath prayers!
Our professor talked about these probably the third week of class. They are prayers that you can say in a breath, they are short but full of meaning. One of the ones that he taught us was "I belong to God". It's a good one to pray when we feel overwhelmed or nervous. This morning as I was walking away from Rob and the tears were threatening to escape I thought, "Perfect moment for a breath prayer..." and God just reminded me that He is my comfort, so I just breathed this in and out. "God is my comfort".
As soon as I breathed in deep once and let it out I felt better. So I prayed it again. So, I made it up the stairs and into the apartment. I made it through a walk around our apartment to make sure Rob had everything important while breathing this breath prayer and God was comforting me. Then I stood in the middle of our living room, wondering what I was supposed to do till church started and suddenly the place felt empty. The tears started to well up again at the thought of our empty apartment and so I breathed "God is my comfort". So, this is my prayer today "God you are my comfort." And I believe it. :)
Blessedly this week is one that is full. Not full in the sense that I will have no time to think about Rob but full in the sense that one of my classes is going on a retreat for three days and we will spend the majority of one of the days in silence. Full in the sense that I have two small groups to rejoin with after a week or two of being apart. Full in the sense that there are wonderful people to meet with and pray with! Though I'm sure through all of that I will end up heading back to that breath prayer, because even in times of joy it's nice to meditate on the fact that God is our comfort.
I've been thinking about the fact that people say that if you really want to start blogging you should write everyday!
I hate to burst everyone's bubble who reads this, but my life isn't exciting enough to write something everyday. I don't do any crafts or DIY projects, so that goes out the window. I do bake, but the process isn't beautiful, and well we don't own a camera so there would be no pictures of the outcome. I could tell you about my day, but frankly I think I would lose you instead of gain more readers.
I've also been thinking about that comment I made the other day and I've been wondering when the time will come to tell you about it. There are maybe three people who know about it, my husband, one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world, and my spiritual director. But I just don't feel like now's the time, or maybe I'm hoping to drag you all along for a while so you'll keep reading. ;)
Anywho, Rob and I were talking last night about lent and the fact that I really wanted to give up TV/movies for Lent becuase I know that we watch a lot of them. We decided that it would be a really good thing, and besides it's only 40 days right? (right?!) Now we realize we're a little late on the lent thing, but I figure God will forgive us. Lent is supposed to be a time of repentance, soul-searching and re-dedication. It's a time where we sacrifice something in order to focus more fully on Christ, or at least that's how I've come to understand it in the last few years. Did you know that lent originally just meant the season that we now refer to as spring? Interesting. The things you learn while writing blogs.
Since Rob is in Shanghai this week we've decided he gets a little wiggle room because a 14 hour flight, plus being in another country and not being able to walk around on his own (not something I expected in Shanghai) he might get a little bored. He brought books, the first two books of The Hunger Game series (Hurrah! I finally will get to talk about them!), but if he reads those as fast as I devoured them they won't last him too long. Now obviously this is a time to focus more fully on God, but it is also good to be gracious with this kind of thing.
This decision really hit me this morning, after coming home to an empty apartment- and maybe wanting to cry a little bit because of said empty apartment- how weird it is to not just go and watch a movie, or chat with Rob or sit and be silent with Rob. With him not being around and not watching TV or movies I have quite a bit of extra time.
And since I'm still having a little bit of a "can I just cry for a few minutes please?" moment the whole homework thing is not sounding so appealing.
What has been wonderful though today is the power of breath prayers!
Our professor talked about these probably the third week of class. They are prayers that you can say in a breath, they are short but full of meaning. One of the ones that he taught us was "I belong to God". It's a good one to pray when we feel overwhelmed or nervous. This morning as I was walking away from Rob and the tears were threatening to escape I thought, "Perfect moment for a breath prayer..." and God just reminded me that He is my comfort, so I just breathed this in and out. "God is my comfort".
As soon as I breathed in deep once and let it out I felt better. So I prayed it again. So, I made it up the stairs and into the apartment. I made it through a walk around our apartment to make sure Rob had everything important while breathing this breath prayer and God was comforting me. Then I stood in the middle of our living room, wondering what I was supposed to do till church started and suddenly the place felt empty. The tears started to well up again at the thought of our empty apartment and so I breathed "God is my comfort". So, this is my prayer today "God you are my comfort." And I believe it. :)
Blessedly this week is one that is full. Not full in the sense that I will have no time to think about Rob but full in the sense that one of my classes is going on a retreat for three days and we will spend the majority of one of the days in silence. Full in the sense that I have two small groups to rejoin with after a week or two of being apart. Full in the sense that there are wonderful people to meet with and pray with! Though I'm sure through all of that I will end up heading back to that breath prayer, because even in times of joy it's nice to meditate on the fact that God is our comfort.
I think it is always harder for the one who stays at home...the one who is away is doing different things..the one at home is faced with the empty feelings...but I am so glad that you have found that "God is my comfort"!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Mom