Tuesdays are turning out not to be a good sleeping night for me, which is unfortunate due to the fact that I have to wake up at 5:15 in the morning to get ready to leave for school. If I had a bad night sleeping on say, Thursday, Friday or Saturday it wouldn't be so bad. But, alas, Tuesdays seem to be the day.
Last night before I went to bed I decided to read through some devotionals because I knew that I wasn't tired and that my mind was racing. First, I read through My Utmost for His Highest, which I really enjoy, and it was talking about how sometimes we need to pour ourselves out as a sacrificial offering and that there should come a time in our walk that we are willing to do this without receiving any recognition for our work. Oswald Chambers was talking about how there are times where we will "be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering" and that we will feel worn out with nothing left to give. He was saying that this is something that we should rejoice in, to be able to be used for the work of the Kingdom without any recognition of our work.
I mostly agrees with this. We should desire to work for the Kingdom without recognition and we need to realize that sometimes this means that we will be poured out and have nothing left to give, only to find that God gives us more strength, joy and hope in those moments. At the same time I think that it can be detrimental if we think that this is how it should always be and never give ourselves the chance to rest, to be filled again so that we can pour ourselves out again. We need to be sure that our focus stays on God and there comes a point when we have been pouring ourselves out and serving and offering ourselves as a sacrifice for so long that we need to go into peace and rest in God's presence and take a break from our service.
Next, I picked up this wonderful devotional called The One Year Daily Grind by Sarah Arthur. Y'all this book is fantastic. I think I've mentioned it before, and I cannot tell you the countless times that God used this book to speak to my heart where it was at. Such a blessing.
So, I picked it up again last night and found this happening yet again. She was talking about Job and about the fact that at the end of the story when his friends, the ones who "have it all together", are told by God to repent and go to Job for prayer and the fact that God was sending Job's friends to him...the one who was brokenhearted and hurting. Sarah Arthur was saying that this is opposite to the way we think, we do not often go to those who are brokenhearted for prayer. Which, you know, to a certain extent makes sense. But this is what she said, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; which means that if the rest of us want to get close to God, we seek them out-not because of what we could possible offer them, as if we're the spiritual first responders on the scene to save the day, but because we recognize how much they have to teach us about who God really is."
She then went on to suggest reading Psalm 34:18-22. Which reads:
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the Lord delivers him out of them all.
He keeps all his bones;
not one of them is broken.
Afflictions will slay the wicked
and those who hate the righteous will be condemned.
The Lord redeems the life of His servants;
none of those who take refuge in Him will be condemned.
Now, in my silliness I left my journal out in the car and am not feeling the desire to go out and get it so I'll just go for it anew here. There is something about this Psalm that rang so clear in my heart yesterday. If I look back at some of the harder moments in my life God was definitely more present to me. Even when I look back at times where God did not feel present to me I realize how close he was to me in those moments. He has often saved my "crushed spirit" renewing me and healing me when I felt that I was unfixable (apparently not a word but whatever) and not worth fixing.
The other thing I love about this passage is that while the afflictions of the righteous are many that they will be delivered from them...whereas the wicked will be slain by their afflictions. The thing that I am realizing is that when I have poured myself out and am brokenhearted and "crushed in spirit" that God is near me to restore me and refresh me...all I have to do is go into His presence. The Lord will redeem us when we are brokenhearted, it may not be in the timing that we desire but it will happen, we have to trust in His timing. There was something else I was reading the other day that talked about the fact that trust sometimes proceeds faith, that in the moments when we cannot feel His presence we need to TRUST in His presence. We need to go through trails for our faith to be strengthened and while we would prefer that this not be the case, who are we to question how God works? God knows our "inmost being" and knows when we rise and is "acquainted with all [our] ways" (Psalm 139). How amazing, to have someone who knows us so intimately...also how frightening! Yet, in knowing us so intimately God stilled loved us in our imperfections and mistakes and junk. In fact He loves us so deeply that "while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). How amazing!
I'm amazed by the way that God continues to reveal to me the ways in which He has been working in my heart that I had not even noticed. Something that I have read hundreds of times all of a sudden has new meaning and depth, I love the way this happens. I love the way that God works where and when we least expect Him to be.
"The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost." (1 Timothy 1:15)
Last night before I went to bed I decided to read through some devotionals because I knew that I wasn't tired and that my mind was racing. First, I read through My Utmost for His Highest, which I really enjoy, and it was talking about how sometimes we need to pour ourselves out as a sacrificial offering and that there should come a time in our walk that we are willing to do this without receiving any recognition for our work. Oswald Chambers was talking about how there are times where we will "be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering" and that we will feel worn out with nothing left to give. He was saying that this is something that we should rejoice in, to be able to be used for the work of the Kingdom without any recognition of our work.
I mostly agrees with this. We should desire to work for the Kingdom without recognition and we need to realize that sometimes this means that we will be poured out and have nothing left to give, only to find that God gives us more strength, joy and hope in those moments. At the same time I think that it can be detrimental if we think that this is how it should always be and never give ourselves the chance to rest, to be filled again so that we can pour ourselves out again. We need to be sure that our focus stays on God and there comes a point when we have been pouring ourselves out and serving and offering ourselves as a sacrifice for so long that we need to go into peace and rest in God's presence and take a break from our service.
Next, I picked up this wonderful devotional called The One Year Daily Grind by Sarah Arthur. Y'all this book is fantastic. I think I've mentioned it before, and I cannot tell you the countless times that God used this book to speak to my heart where it was at. Such a blessing.
So, I picked it up again last night and found this happening yet again. She was talking about Job and about the fact that at the end of the story when his friends, the ones who "have it all together", are told by God to repent and go to Job for prayer and the fact that God was sending Job's friends to him...the one who was brokenhearted and hurting. Sarah Arthur was saying that this is opposite to the way we think, we do not often go to those who are brokenhearted for prayer. Which, you know, to a certain extent makes sense. But this is what she said, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; which means that if the rest of us want to get close to God, we seek them out-not because of what we could possible offer them, as if we're the spiritual first responders on the scene to save the day, but because we recognize how much they have to teach us about who God really is."
She then went on to suggest reading Psalm 34:18-22. Which reads:
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the Lord delivers him out of them all.
He keeps all his bones;
not one of them is broken.
Afflictions will slay the wicked
and those who hate the righteous will be condemned.
The Lord redeems the life of His servants;
none of those who take refuge in Him will be condemned.
Now, in my silliness I left my journal out in the car and am not feeling the desire to go out and get it so I'll just go for it anew here. There is something about this Psalm that rang so clear in my heart yesterday. If I look back at some of the harder moments in my life God was definitely more present to me. Even when I look back at times where God did not feel present to me I realize how close he was to me in those moments. He has often saved my "crushed spirit" renewing me and healing me when I felt that I was unfixable (apparently not a word but whatever) and not worth fixing.
The other thing I love about this passage is that while the afflictions of the righteous are many that they will be delivered from them...whereas the wicked will be slain by their afflictions. The thing that I am realizing is that when I have poured myself out and am brokenhearted and "crushed in spirit" that God is near me to restore me and refresh me...all I have to do is go into His presence. The Lord will redeem us when we are brokenhearted, it may not be in the timing that we desire but it will happen, we have to trust in His timing. There was something else I was reading the other day that talked about the fact that trust sometimes proceeds faith, that in the moments when we cannot feel His presence we need to TRUST in His presence. We need to go through trails for our faith to be strengthened and while we would prefer that this not be the case, who are we to question how God works? God knows our "inmost being" and knows when we rise and is "acquainted with all [our] ways" (Psalm 139). How amazing, to have someone who knows us so intimately...also how frightening! Yet, in knowing us so intimately God stilled loved us in our imperfections and mistakes and junk. In fact He loves us so deeply that "while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). How amazing!
I'm amazed by the way that God continues to reveal to me the ways in which He has been working in my heart that I had not even noticed. Something that I have read hundreds of times all of a sudden has new meaning and depth, I love the way this happens. I love the way that God works where and when we least expect Him to be.
"The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost." (1 Timothy 1:15)
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