It's times like these that I struggle to know what to write. It seems like so much is happening and there is so much information out there that I don't want to add to it unnecessarily or to some extent uselessly. I kept wondering if what I have to say is really important enough to type out, but I realized that I like hearing other people's thoughts and how they are processing everything that is going on. I keep wanting to hear it, despite the fact that I've already heard and read other people's experiences, because everyone's experience is unique and the ways that they're responding to it and caring for themselves and others is creative and individual. So, who knows, maybe one of you will connect with my experience or will feel less alone in yours.
Things are starting to feel more normal around here. They say it takes about 14 days to make a habit, so I guess it makes sense that as we get closer to hitting that two week mark of physical distancing and isolation that it has started to feel a bit more normal. I don't know about you guys but that first week was HARD, which isn't to say that it hasn't been hard since but it all felt really raw that first week. On top of our routine changing quite a bit at home, throwing the boys and I off our game, our youngest decided that it was a good time to go through separation anxiety at night leaving us with an extreme sleep debt. What this meant was that there were quite a few tears on my part. Tears about so many different things and as the weeks have gone on and it's become clear that this isn't a two week thing the tears have continued to flow...though at less regular intervals.
In that first week we watched a lot of movies. My eldest son LOVES musicals (much to my delight and my husband's disappointment) so we started watching mostly Disney movies that I remembered having a good message plus great music. His favourite, as I mentioned previously, was Beauty and the Beast hands down. However, he also really enjoyed The Sound of Music which really surprised me because it is a pretty slow moving movie but he loves the songs and asks to play the "ladleladle" song all the time. It took me a while to figure out what song that was...and if you're wondering it's The Lonely Goatherd".
To clarify my husband is disappointed because he really does not like musicals and, until this point, could request the music not to be played and I would oblige (most of the time). However, now that our eldest loves them so much he is constantly be subjected to musicals. He is, like always, taking it well and with his normal good nature.
I realized by the end of that first week, when it seemed like things weren't going to change anytime soon and that the restrictions were going to become more strict I started to realize the need for a bit more of a schedule and variety to our days. We aren't watching as many movies, we are going outside way more (a couple times a day most days) and we are trying to connect with my parents and friends via different platforms. I also realized how stir-crazy I am getting and how much I am desiring at least 15 minutes of conversation with another adult during my day...even 15 minutes of interrupted conversation is better than none!
I have found myself trying to find a balance between allowing myself to feel the sadness, loss and grief of the change in our day to day lives and how I had seen the next few months panning out and enjoying the moments as they are. For me this has meant not reading the news constantly throughout the day as much of it adds to my sadness and feelings of heaviness. It has also meant finding new ways to connect and make new kinds of memories with people I/we love. My friend and I drove out to the lake in separate cars and parked and just chatted with each other for an hour. This was such a gift to me and it's something I know that we'll look back on and smile...the idea that to "escape" our kids we had to hole up in our cars and talk...that that was the only place to find some quiet.
I am also trying not to predict so much of the future, especially through the more pessimistic lens I currently have on. I think that this time has made so clear for me the idea that I can't really plan in stone my future. There are so many things that I have felt were certainties, even if I wouldn't have said it. I have constantly had this verse in James on my mind, "Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” To me this doesn't feel bleak...it is a wonderful reminder of another verse Romans 8:28 that says, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good..."
I am in the hands of an Almighty God- which doesn't mean I won't experience pain, suffering, hurt or difficulty but that He will work all things for GOOD. Who knows how God will work in this terrible time but He will and I believe that He already is. As I type this I am also reminded of how we are unknowingly prepared for things. In our Bible study we talked about things almost exactly related to this...about how being God's children doesn't mean we won't ever be harmed but that everything is used to grow, strengthen and sanctify us. Which is definitely another topic for another day because it will get much too long!
I bid you all adeiu! Until tomorrow!
Things are starting to feel more normal around here. They say it takes about 14 days to make a habit, so I guess it makes sense that as we get closer to hitting that two week mark of physical distancing and isolation that it has started to feel a bit more normal. I don't know about you guys but that first week was HARD, which isn't to say that it hasn't been hard since but it all felt really raw that first week. On top of our routine changing quite a bit at home, throwing the boys and I off our game, our youngest decided that it was a good time to go through separation anxiety at night leaving us with an extreme sleep debt. What this meant was that there were quite a few tears on my part. Tears about so many different things and as the weeks have gone on and it's become clear that this isn't a two week thing the tears have continued to flow...though at less regular intervals.
In that first week we watched a lot of movies. My eldest son LOVES musicals (much to my delight and my husband's disappointment) so we started watching mostly Disney movies that I remembered having a good message plus great music. His favourite, as I mentioned previously, was Beauty and the Beast hands down. However, he also really enjoyed The Sound of Music which really surprised me because it is a pretty slow moving movie but he loves the songs and asks to play the "ladleladle" song all the time. It took me a while to figure out what song that was...and if you're wondering it's The Lonely Goatherd".
To clarify my husband is disappointed because he really does not like musicals and, until this point, could request the music not to be played and I would oblige (most of the time). However, now that our eldest loves them so much he is constantly be subjected to musicals. He is, like always, taking it well and with his normal good nature.
I realized by the end of that first week, when it seemed like things weren't going to change anytime soon and that the restrictions were going to become more strict I started to realize the need for a bit more of a schedule and variety to our days. We aren't watching as many movies, we are going outside way more (a couple times a day most days) and we are trying to connect with my parents and friends via different platforms. I also realized how stir-crazy I am getting and how much I am desiring at least 15 minutes of conversation with another adult during my day...even 15 minutes of interrupted conversation is better than none!
I have found myself trying to find a balance between allowing myself to feel the sadness, loss and grief of the change in our day to day lives and how I had seen the next few months panning out and enjoying the moments as they are. For me this has meant not reading the news constantly throughout the day as much of it adds to my sadness and feelings of heaviness. It has also meant finding new ways to connect and make new kinds of memories with people I/we love. My friend and I drove out to the lake in separate cars and parked and just chatted with each other for an hour. This was such a gift to me and it's something I know that we'll look back on and smile...the idea that to "escape" our kids we had to hole up in our cars and talk...that that was the only place to find some quiet.
I am also trying not to predict so much of the future, especially through the more pessimistic lens I currently have on. I think that this time has made so clear for me the idea that I can't really plan in stone my future. There are so many things that I have felt were certainties, even if I wouldn't have said it. I have constantly had this verse in James on my mind, "Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” To me this doesn't feel bleak...it is a wonderful reminder of another verse Romans 8:28 that says, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good..."
I am in the hands of an Almighty God- which doesn't mean I won't experience pain, suffering, hurt or difficulty but that He will work all things for GOOD. Who knows how God will work in this terrible time but He will and I believe that He already is. As I type this I am also reminded of how we are unknowingly prepared for things. In our Bible study we talked about things almost exactly related to this...about how being God's children doesn't mean we won't ever be harmed but that everything is used to grow, strengthen and sanctify us. Which is definitely another topic for another day because it will get much too long!
I bid you all adeiu! Until tomorrow!
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