Pensive Procrastination

So, I have this problem with finishing stories. I currently have two ideas for books started on my computer, but once I open the document, convinced I am going to write I hit a wall. I just sit and stare at the cursor...hoping that the next part of the story will come. I started to write another short story a while back and got stuck again, but I decided to share the beginning of that story here, with you, my loyal blogosphere compadres. Warning: it does not have the happiest ending right now but I'm hoping that in sharing it here I'll find the motivation to finish it off! It's also just a draft, so bear with me loyal friends. Richard paced around his room, his hands clenched by his side and his face covered in sweat and tears. He had been pacing around his bedroom for hours. He paced from one side to the next, back and forth, around and around. His heart ached within him pounding furiously, he had a headache from crying and his body was exhausted. He knew he couldn’t ...

So, I keep a journal on my computer. I've had it since first year university and it is the journal that I have gone to when I needed to type quickly and get a lot of ideas out of my head. This means that many of these thoughts are not really one for public consideration, but I stumbled across this one tonight in my browsing and thought that I should share it with you all. It's more of a prayer to God, which is what my journals tend to be, but I guess that really means it's more honest. God you are so good! I know that right now there is so much pain in the world. I understand that you never desired for us to live in a world of imperfection, and that your heart is breaking more than our own at the destruction in the world.  We shut you out, yet cry that you do nothing; we push you out of our lives, but then ask why you are doing nothing in them. We scream in the face of control yet wonder why you gave us free will. We are  an undecided humanity, holding onto our contr...

Where is my dependency? Where do I go for comfort in trial and to celebrate in joy? Who do I run to first when I feel my heart break? What do I do with my anxieties and fears? God calls us to depend on Him first, that He is always our first love, that we put nothing else before Him. I'm reading a devotional right now that's all about putting God first, it's a devotional based off the book "I am Second". As I was thinking about that idea this morning I wondered at whether it's really that I have a problem placing myself in second or whether my problem is placing others before God. There is a comfort of having someone sit physically beside you, take you in their arms and hug you when you are feeling low. And I don't think that there is anything wrong with that. I know that God has given us others to support and encourage us, to give us hugs and sit with us when we need it. He has given us fellowship and relationship for a reason, because He has made us rel...

Before we get down to business I  would like the share a few thing with you: 1) I dislike Rob's keyboard. I'm trying to be quiet but it is oh so loud and the only way to make the keys work is by pressing them hard. This will not do... 2) Sometimes I feel like my body likes to play tricks on me. This is how I imagine the conversation taking place... "OK guys let's make her nice and calm....That's it." "Move onto phase two, let's make her eyes feel nice and heavy and her brain feel nice and fuzzy." "Good! Good! She's thinking of going to bed early so she's well rested...right on schedule." "Keep her feeling tired guys we don't want her to realize our scheme..." "Ah, good she's feeling the comfort of her bed...curling up under the covers...and GO! GO! GO!" 3) I don't so much mind being awake, it's the being awake and knowing I have to get up at 5:20 that I don't like so much. 4) ...

This is a story that was written for my friends Katie and Hannah while I was in my Theology of the Human Person class. Basically I told them that I would write a story that started with the next three words that my professor spoke and whatever character name and back story they wanted. If you knew my theology professor you would understand the risk I was taking in starting a story off his next three words. Luckily, they were "was sent off" and the rest of the story follows.  Friedrich was sent off to the cheese factory one day to buy some apples. He thought that this was a little strange as he thought that apples grew on trees. Friedrich figured that this was just another strange quirk that Canada had. Even though Friedrich had come to Canada to study the art of apologizing he found he was learning a great deal about the world and it’s cultures as well. In fact, Canadians enjoyed eating apple pie and cheese...so perhaps it was not strange for apples to be sold at a ch...

Wow! It's been a great hiatus from the internet world, but Lent is over and I am back! This blog post is one that I began thinking and pondering over the Lent period and these are just some of my ponderings from the Lent period...I hope to post more over the next week but with the end of the term rapidly approaching I may not be able to follow through. The other day as I was reading my massive textbook on Revelation- I say this not so you are impressed but instead that you might mourn and pray with me ;)- and listening to some worship music a certain song came on that I have come to love, a lot. It’s called “Never Once” by Matt Redman. The first time I heard this song was at my parent’s church and I remember that the imagery just hit me. So often over this time of Lent I have been looking back on this past year, and sometimes far beyond that, and I have just been seeing God’s miraculous and incredible work. The problem is that whenever I attempt to explain it and all that...

Tuesdays are turning out not to be a good sleeping night for me, which is unfortunate due to the fact that I have to wake up at 5:15 in the morning to get ready to leave for school. If I had a bad night sleeping on say, Thursday, Friday or Saturday it wouldn't be so bad. But, alas, Tuesdays seem to be the day.  Last night before I went to bed I decided to read through some devotionals because I knew that I wasn't tired and that my mind was racing. First, I read through My Utmost for His Highest, which I really enjoy, and it was talking about how sometimes we need to pour ourselves out as a sacrificial offering and that there should come a time in our walk that we are willing to do this without receiving any recognition for our work. Oswald Chambers was talking about how there are times where we will "be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering" and that we will feel worn out with nothing left to give. He was saying that this is something that we ...

Things that are “the best”: 1. Talking under the stars. When I think of this I think of two things. A) The hill at camp. B) The campsite where the camp family first discovered Venus Goddess Island, sitting out on the rocks with Surf and Mocha with our feet dangling and just staring at the stars. 2. Campfires. 3. Warm showers, especially warm showers after not showering for days. TMI? A friend pointed out that cold showers can be nice on hot summer days, but I prefer to just jump in a lake at that point...though when that is not possible the shower is a good alternative. 4. Coffee alone or with friends (the fictional or non-fictional kind). 5. Road trips with friends...or alone. But a few things must be included. Good music. A good book...to be read aloud preferably. Good food, and by good food I don’t necessarily mean healthy. Someone to encourage my caffeine addiction-this is not Rob but I forgive him. Car dancing. 6. Hiking, I just like the feeling of really exerting my...

There’s something absolutely wonderful about Psalm 23, don’t you think? It was brought back to mind for me last week and it has been something that has been guiding my prayers. There’s so much goodness in this passage, but I just want to focus on one part today...the bolded part. The   LORD   is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, a I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the   LORD forever. I love that it is, at least in this...

I'm not sure how many of you keep up with TV, more specifically British telly. Anywhoo, there is an awesome show called Sherlock, which is, obviously, about Sherlock Holmes in a modern day setting. I love it...Rob loves it...life is good. It's suspenseful, witty and fun. Anyway, this is not a promotion for the show. I'm currently trying to figure out how much to fill you guys in on this show in order to catch you up so I can make my point. I'll do a quick summary, which I'm known for by the way, quick summaries... Sherlock, is very, very smart. Some may call him a genius, including himself, though he is lacking in the somewhat key type of intelligence of the emotional variety. Anyway, at times he's a little blunt and likes to show off. He will state things that he has concluded in a glance and then ask people how they could not see it, wondering at what goes on in their ordinary minds... as though it was obvious from the jacket the person was wearing what th...

Hello friends! All 18 of you! ;) Another term of school begins (another year for those of you who are not still trudging your way through the swamp of academia) and I am so excited for all that this next term holds. For serious, even though I just referred to my life right now as a "swamp of academia". As you may have noticed, my posting decreased quite a lot last term. God was revealing so much to me last school term and I was just learning an abundance about myself, and my faith and just about life in general. Classes were interesting, or if the classes themselves weren't the course readings were. I was getting to know new people and develop deeper friendships with many people that I love. God also provided for me, in His perfect timing, a friendship that has encouraged me, blessed me and challenged me in incredible ways. I found myself more involved in life around me and while I was pondering things the same amount as before I just found myself sharing it with those ...