The King's Court

Well, readers... I apologize for the lack of posting. Life got in the way and I have just not had time to sit down and write out a blog post. I did however have the time the other day to pen out a short story. So I hope that you enjoy reading it and that it blesses you wherever you may be on this New Years Eve!

Sonya stood, trembling, outside the court of the King. She wrung her hands and commanded her feet to stay where they were. She locked her eyes on the entrance to the court and reminded herself over and over that this is where she needed, and wanted, to be even though she so badly wanted to run. Her heart pounded in her chest as she thought of this great King and how perfect and Holy He was. Sonya knew that she did not even deserve to stand outside His court, let alone be welcomed into His presence. Yet, she knew somehow that He wanted to see her, and He had called her there many times before. The longer she stood waiting to go before Him the more she began to think of all the reasons why she could not go into His presence, all the reasons why she was not perfect enough, clean enough, together enough, strong enough, bold enough. She had been here before and had succumbed to those thoughts, running as fast as she could through the streets and into her apartment, falling on her knees in her bedroom. She had knelt there with her forehead on her knees for hours, tears streaming silently down her face, knowing that the King was the only one who could give her freedom. Yet even though she knew this, she was unsure of how to go into His presence to receive it, she was unsure of how to receive His freedom and love at all.

So, Sonya continued to stand, staring at the entrance to His court, wringing her hands and trying to calm her furiously beating heart. She knew He was love, and she knew He was perfect and that He was just. She knew that she could not stand in His presence by her own merit, and yet she still worried that He would see right through her tow who she really was and command her to leave His presence. She shivered at the thought and forced herself to remember what she knew of Him that was truth. She breathed in deeply and slowly rubbed her hands on her skirt in an attempt to stop herself from fidgeting.

A woman stepped out from behind the curtain; she was relaxed and a welcoming smile was on her face. She walked over to Sonya and smiled holding out her hand, “You must be Sonya. The King has told me so much about you.” The woman smiled and shook Sonya’s hand firmly. Sonya could not hide the surprise from her face.

“He...he...told you about...me?” Sonya stammered.

“Oh yes! He talks about you all the time.” The woman laughed warmly and stepped aside and motioned for Sonya to go with her.

Sonya hesitated momentarily. He talked of her, positively; surely He could not know all of what she had done. Sonya shook her head and gathered all her strength to follow the woman who was standing patiently in front of her, smiling encouragingly at her. Sonya walked forward, feeling as though her legs did not have the strength to carry her but her heart urging her forward into the presence of the only One who could give her freedom and heal her aching soul.

She walked into the courts and was immediately taken aback. She expected a large open room, with the King sitting on an elevated throne. Here He was in front of her in all His majesty; you could not mistake Him for anyone other than the Great King. He sat in a regal chair, but it was on the same level as her and he smiled quietly at her as she walked in. The room was bright, and the light seemed to be emanating from His presence. She stood, staring at Him, full of fear, yet at the same time, full of love. She could not move, she dared not move. Her legs no longer trembled; her heart no longer beat furiously. She just felt overwhelmed with a desire to run to Him and fall at His feet. Yet something stopped her, a feeling that He was too Holy, to majestic for her to assume so intimate a relationship. He smiled at her and said, “Come to me Sonya.”

That was all the encouragement she needed, she ran to Him and collapsed at His feet, laying her head in his lap and sobbing deeply into His robes. He rested His hand on her head and smoothed back her hair as she sobbed. He spoke quietly to her as she cried. He spoke to her deepest needs and fears; He spoke forgiveness of things that she never even dreamed of finding forgiveness for and freedom from. As Sonya sobbed, and listened to His voice speaking softly to her, suddenly all her guilt and shame and sadness melted away. He spoke away her fears, her self-judgement and hate. He spoke away the falsities that had taken root in her soul and instead in their place was a joyful and incredible truth. He spoke a truth that felt unshakable and her heart was filled with an unspeakable joy. She felt as though she might burst with love. Her tears turned from tears of sorrow and pain, to tears of great joy and incredible release. She no longer wanted to sit still, she felt as though she could no longer contain her excitement. She turned her face towards the King’s and beamed at Him. She had no words to express her gratitude, but He nodded at her and she knew that He understood. She peacefully and yet excitedly sat in His presence for what felt like minutes, but knew later that it must have been hours, just being filled with His joy, strength, power and peace.

When she left His presence, she could not stop herself from running out of the palace and onto the streets. The smile that stretched across her face caused others to smile just by seeing her joy. She ran over to a wall and climbed on top of it and shouted, “I’m free!” And began to share her story with whoever would listen. Her joy was infectious, drawing all around her to listen to her story and to ask her how they too could have this joy. As the evening drew near Sonya said goodbye to those she had been talking to and walked home, with a lightness of step that spoke of her new found freedom and joy.