Presence of God

Rebecca sits on the carpeted floor, her legs crossed and her eyes closed. A book is open sitting on her legs, the pages well loved, wrinkled, scribbled on and underlined. As she sits expectantly, her fingers softly smooth out the page of the book that rests in her lap. There’s a soft smile that lights up her face as she tilts her head up into the sunbeam that is streaming in through the large open window in front of her. A soft breeze touches her hair and caresses her face. A journal lies beside her on the floor, the last words scribbled on it are, “I wait, expectantly, for You Father and only You.” As her eyes are closed a man walks barefoot softly into the room, more softly than would be expected for a man of His size. He silently sits across from her and beams at her as she tilts her face to the sun. He sits waiting, patiently, lovingly staring at her face. He reaches out to brush a flyway strand of hair away from her eyes and she opens them to see him reaching towards her. A large smile stretches across her face.

“I knew You’d come!” she shouted joyfully.

The man smiled, and put his bearded chin into his hand, his deep brown eyes twinkled as He looked at her. “I told you that if You cry out I will answer. I promised that I am always with you.” He smiled at her, a warmth and love spreading across his face. “Always with you.”

The girl smiled lightly, and looked down at the book sitting on her legs, she gently touched the pages. Her smile slowly disappeared as she looked back into the man’s awaiting face.

“I know that You’re always around, I know that You have promised to never leave or forsake me, but at times, Your presence is hard to feel.” The man nodded knowingly, she continued on. “I used to feel You around me all the time and yet, lately, I haven’t... and I keep thinking it’s something I’m doing wrong...and I keep trying to fix it... and it doesn’t seem to be working. Yet you keep reminding me of Your grace, and You keep reminding me of Your love.”

The young woman pauses for a second, closes the book, keeping her finger in place and places her other hand upon it. When she looks up again, tears have filled her eyes.

The man looks at her lovingly and gently. He takes her hand into his rough, large hand and squeezes it assuredly. “You are my child, the one I love. I know the hairs upon your head, I know your waking and your sleeping, your comings and goings. I know your heart and thoughts. I know your deepest need and desires. I know your unexpressed secrets and fears. I clothe you, protect you and bring you rest. Yet, you doubt my presence?”

The young woman had silent tears flowing from her eyes; her face had streaks from the tears streaming down her face. She slowly looked into the face of the man, His eyes were sad and He waited for her response.

“Yes, I know it seems foolish now. You even said that Your presence will go with me and You will give me rest. I don’t want to doubt your presence or Your love. But I don’t know what I’m supposed to do differently, what I can do to draw closer to you.”

The man reached up and lightly brushed the tears from her face. He left his hand on her cheek and looked deeply into her eyes. “You’re making this about you. About what YOU can do, about what YOU’RE not doing. Yet you’ve forgotten all about Me, what I have done for you. How much I love you. How powerful, loving and unfathomable I am. All I ask is that You love me Rebecca, just focus your heart on me.”

The man grasped both sides of her face and turned her face towards His own.

“Just look to me.”

Rebecca nodded and touched the man’s hands that rested on her face. She looked into His eyes and whispered softly. “I will Father, I will.”

The man quietly stood and kissed her on her head. “I know you will my precious child. I know.”

Then just as silently and gently as He had arrive He left the room. Rebecca opened the book upon her lap and again closed her eyes, lifting her face to the warm sun. Slowly she broke into a grin, and a joy lit up her face and she whispered once again into the room “I will...”