Pensive Procrastination

I've been convicted recently about where I put my focus and my attention...in fact this is something that has been nagging at me for quite some time over the past year or so but has definitely increased over the past few months. I found myself opening another tab in my browser even as I typed this because I found myself getting stuck in what I wanted to say. Instead of sitting and just staying with the moment that I was in I put my attention on something else. Now to be honest sometimes this is exactly what I need when I am writing, but normally in order for this kind of break to be the productive kind rather than the unproductive it does not entail me going to Facebook or Instagram or YouTube or watching the latest episode of Stranger Things (my latest episode not THE latest episode so please don't ruin the surprise for me!). [Disclaimer: Before I continue in the post I feel the need to say that this is something I've been convicted on, I'm not saying you need to fe...

Now for the continuation of the story...why Rob or marrying Rob was an unexpected for me. Let's travel back 10 years, I think that's far enough to give the background necessary for this story. 10 years ago I was in my first year of university, which was a growing experience for me. In that year I met some wonderful people who encouraged me and accepted me. I also felt like I was truly getting to know myself as I was, not who I felt I needed to be. The first semester of university was a hard one for me, I struggled to find people to connect with, I often felt alone and sad. It felt like everyone I loved and cared about was back home and I kind of just wanted to go back. However, with the second semester came a really unexpected and honest talk with someone who was three dorm rooms down from me who was feeling quite the same. This talk and following friendship with Joanna was truly a gift from God and led to much of the growth I experienced in that first year. Joanna challeng...

I've been pondering this post for a few days now, trying to decide if there was enough substance in the idea of the unexpected that I could actually write a post about it. As I was reading my devotions this morning I stumbled upon this phrase in the book I was reading and decided I had to at least give it the old college try (side note: who knows where this phrase came from? Is it a positive comment on colleges or negative...I think it's positive but I'm not 100% sure). "Never believe that the so-called random events of life are anything less  than God's appointed order. Be ready to discover His divine designs everywhere and anywhere." - Oswald Chambers    I love this idea, it means that even the smallest most insignificant thing or timing could be God stepping into our lives, orchestrating things for His greater plan and our lives. Recently, this idea combined with all of the unexpected moments in my life has really been on my mind.  There have...

After writing that post the other day I kept asking myself those questions at the end, "What is my story? What stories do I love? What stories have shaped me? And what stories are so real to me that they whisper to me that I'm not alone?" With all those questions it was hard to know where to begin...the questions also arise, "Is my story really worth telling? Is it worth reading? Is my story exciting enough to share...to draw people in?" When talking about this with a friend this morning I realized that hearing other people's stories is something that I love. I always consider someone else's story worth hearing or reading. I realized that, especially within the church, we often preface the telling of our life story with an apology that it is not radical or exciting. It's as though we seem to think that the ordinary cannot be great or amazing...besides isn't the pursuit of God and God's hand in our lives always amazing? Truly with my story...

Ever since church on Sunday I've had this feeling that I should write. What? I'm not sure. It just had to be something- anything at all. At church on Sunday Russ talked in part about ignoring that feeling, the "tug" of the Holy Spirit and how we so often ignore that "tug" Sunday after Sunday. We say to ourselves, "I'll get back to that...I'll attend to that later...I'll ask for prayer about that another time...I'll think more about that after this conversation..." and then we never do. I found myself with this pull to write the more I listened to Russ talk and decided I would sit down and write that evening after my son was in bed. But Sunday turned into Monday by way of a baby coming down with a cold which turned into Tuesday. However, here I finally am on Tuesday drafting this out. As I sat there Sunday morning I found myself thinking about vulnerability and authenticity- particularly within the context of the church. I wondered...